Faith vs. knowdge

Proper 6 B18
4th Sunday after Pentecost
June 17, 2018

    My dear mentor and friend, Bill Mahedy, that I have spoken of before, used to say that he enjoyed seeing bumper stickers that said “Jesus is the answer”.  Bill’s issue with most of the folks who had that bumper sticker, or so he said was that he was sure they didn’t really know what the questions were…

    In our lessons today and in our opening prayer, the issue of faith comes up.  I find faith, or at least talking about faith, to be a difficult if not impossible task; and of course, it also depend who I’m talking to.  Faith, is not the same thing as knowledge; and I think that faith is much harder because there isn’t proof, which I think is the whole point; the minute we have proof of something, then it switches from faith to knowledge…

    Over the years, I have found it interesting to watch how people talk about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and faith… When I go to Barnes and Noble, I like to see the various books that have been written on spiritual issues.  It all tells me that we all have a desire for God; we all are seeking for some kind of connection to God and hopefully to each other; when we get into trouble is when we speak with certainty about God’s motives or about who exactly God is… another need we all seem to have is a need to have answers and to have things clear cut.  Well, there is nothing clear cut about prayer or about Jesus or the spiritual life.

    I am reading a book right now by Rachel Held Evans.  She spoke here at the diocese sometime last year. She talks about her journey from a place where her church provided all the answers to life; where gender roles were clearly defined, and God’s desires for her and her family were spelled out in scripture.  It was a place where faith was shown by how much you prayed and how you prayed; and if something bad happened, then it was proof that you didn’t have enough faith or that you didn’t pray hard enough. It’s a slippery place I think, because people are attempting to have knowledge of things that they cannot know; and, it’s ultimately incredibly hurtful to people and their relationship with God.

    Faith, it seems to me, is often quite simple; I can remember visiting my grandmother who was well into her 90’s.  She didn’t speak much English, but we managed, and I loved her dearly. Each time I got ready to leave after our visit, she would bless me; I can still hear her voice and the blessing in Spanish.  My grandmother was a tough old lady who had been around the block a few times, and she lived a rough life. Her funeral was probably the first time she had set foot in a church in decades; yet, she wanted to bless her granddaughter with the blessing and faith of her family.  I know she had faith in God… and I know that her faith sustained her in those last years when she lost her sight. Her blessing and prayers for me certainly sustained me.

    So to get back to Rachel’s book, and the Jesus is the answer bumper sticker… in her chapter on war stories, Rachel says “So to whatever extent God owes us an explanation for the Bible’s war stories, Jesus, is that explanation.”  Earlier she says, “On the cross, Jesus chose to align himself with the victims of suffering, rather than the inflictors of it.” (Pg 77).

    Let’s face it; on any given day, if any of us have faith the size of a mustard seed, it’s a good day.  Faith is hard; it takes living our lives in community where we are held accountable for our actions. It takes reading scripture together and struggling with the inconsistencies and the dreadful parts that don’t make sense.  Faith takes allowing the grace of the sacraments feed our hearts and souls so that we might experience Jesus in the flesh… Knowledge is good… but faith takes us further; and we know that it’s not a constant, we know that we struggle and sometimes need the faith of our community to carry us… and we have questions… lots of them, and questions need to be asked even when there isn’t an answer.  I am more comforted by an honest “I don’t know” than a sure “everything happens for a reason.” God so loved the world, that God is present in all of our lives in Jesus… Jesus so loved the world that he promised to be with us to the end of the age, and that he would be present when we gather to receive him at his table. He promised he would be in the midst of us whenever two or three are gathered… maybe he said that because he knew that whenever we gather, some of us would need to rest in the faith of the others…  May the love of Jesus surround us all, and strengthen us to have faith in him, and to love the world as he loves it. Jesus, is the answer, whatever the question might be…

Let us pray:  Keep, O Lord, your household the Church in your steadfast faith and love, that through your grace we may proclaim your truth with boldness, and minister your justice with compassion; for the sake of our Savior Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Reaching out to give hope

Third Sunday after Pentecost
Proper 5 Year B
June 19 2015

    When Danny was still an infant, we had to have his hearing checked because he had failed an earlier test; he had tubes placed in his ears and we were going in for a follow up.  Hearing issues are common in children with Down Syndrome, so I was following a path that many had trod before me. Back in those early days, I spent many, many, days afraid for him.  Every time I read a book or an article, there were more and more things I had to watch out for; developmental markers, hearing, he had already conquered issues with his heart; the slightest unknown fever brought fears for leukemia… it’s not a great list.  I do however, remember reading that children with Down syndrome did have less tooth decay than there typical peers, so there is that.

    Anyway, I was in the audiology waiting room, waiting for his test, and there was an older African American woman sitting in the chair next to us.  She looked down at Dan in his carrier and smiled. Then she turned to me and said “I know that face. He’s going to be OK, and he’s beautiful.” I thanked her, and as we talked some more, she told me she had a niece with Down Syndrome, who had had a rough time of it early in her life.  She had to have heart surgery early on, she had some hearing issues, and the usual low immune system things that these kids have. Her niece was about to turn 24. She told me, “I know she’s going to be OK because she bosses the rest of us around. She definitely knows what she wants!” We both laughed, and I said I expected the same from Dan who came by it honestly.  Then it was time for us to go to our test, and I thanked her for her kind words. As I thought about her later, I realized she gave me the hope I desperately needed as a new special needs mom. Somehow her soft voice, her loving gaze and Dan and her laughter were exactly what I needed to bring some light into what was becoming a very dark place for me. I was filled with fear all the time… and she had just the right words to tell me it was going to be ok.

This week, the news has been filled with the stories of the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain.  I know there is at least one Kate Spade piece in my house somewhere, and even though I don’t watch many cooking shows, I have always enjoyed Anthony Bourdain when I have caught him on television.  But apart from that, two beautiful children of God were caught in places of extreme darkness where for them, there didn’t seem to be enough light to guide them out of the darkness. I wonder how many other children of God ended their lives this week that we don’t know about… I do know that suicide among teens and preteens is at astronomically high rates.  

Most of you know that I have lupus, and it seems like each year there are new and annoying ways that my body fails me.  It is frustrating, and sometimes frightening, and almost always painful, but it is the reality of my life right now… I don’t like it… but, most days, it’s not a deep, dark place for me; sometimes I get afraid, but not often.  I have mostly made peace with my day to day pain. I try not to think of what the future might hold.

In our readings today, Paul tells us that even though our bodies, our outer nature is wasting away, that our inner nature is being strengthened; that one day we will know glory beyond measure.  And, I believe that, it is the hope that we have been handed for generations Scripture and in the Book of Common Prayer. What I want to say though, is that the hope that Jesus gives us through the Holy Spirit, is not just something for us to cling to for comfort when we die.  That’s important, but it’s also important for us to know that Jesus means for us to receive comfort from the Holy Spirit now, in this time and place. This is the world that Jesus loves, and so, this is the world where the Spirit works. And how does the Spirit work? The Spirit works through each of us, depending on us to use the gifts we have been given to bring about the kingdom of God here on earth as it is in heaven.  And the good Lord knows we have a long way to go. But we are the light, we are the laborers that have been called to the field to finish what Jesus started. And sometimes I think, it’s not even the big stuff, but it’s the little stuff that matters; the woman in the audiology waiting room did not have to engage me about my son; but she did; she moved beyond herself to offer hope and light to someone else…

I don’t know why suicide happens… I know that often people’s sense of community has disappeared; we don’t know who are neighbors are, jobs take us to different places, people are embarrassed to say that they need help.  And if someone succeeds in killing themselves, people say things like “oh, they had so much to live for… I never would have guessed they were hurting…”

In my opinion, suicide is an act of desperation, where it seems like the only answer is to end the gift that has been given by God.  How tragic it is that anyone has to feel that way. Our psalm today speaks of the great need of the psalmist for God…”Out of the depths have I called to you, O Lord, hear my voice”... I can say that the Lord always hears our voices, even at our darkest moments; I can also say, that you and I are the answer to another’s prayers.  Sometimes we have to reach beyond ourselves and our own worries to another so that they know they aren’t alone; sometimes, we have to offer a word of hope, a word of love. Sometimes we have to be that example that lets someone know they are loved, and that their life matters to us and to God. Sometimes, we have to be that tough love kind of person who says “I love you… now let me get you some help.”  There is no shame is professional help; no shame in 12 step meetings; no shame in medications that are meant to help ease one out of depression. You all know that Dan sees a psychiatrist for his autism… that doctor told me when Dan started seeing him that if ever I needed help, he was there for me too… He said I had lots of points against me for depression…. I was female, I was a female of a particular age, I was a special needs mom, I was clergy, and I had a chronic illness that caused me chronic pain… at the time, I laughed him off because I was so used to handling everything myself… it took 2 years but one day I showed up in his office for an appointment of my own… and he said...well, I’m glad you’re finally here.  And yes, I take medicine for depression. Yes, some days are still damn hard… but… I have people in my life who reach out; I surround myself with reminders of just how good God is. Everyday I find some reason to give thanks to God… even if it’s just for the crazy puppy who won’t stop barking at the neighbors…

God hears us even in the darkness… even when our lives, our external selves seem like they aren’t working the way they should, God loves us just as we are… if we can reach beyond ourselves to ask for what we need, or at least just reach out even if we don’t know what we need… the light will shine… if we can reach out to another, even when it looks like they have it all together… maybe we can be the hope and light that another needs…  If you should find yourself in that kind of dark place, Mother Beth, Tex or I are a phone call away. Please know that because Jesus lives, God desires that we live…

Let us pray:

Help us O Lord to carry to the light of Christ to others so that they may know how much you love them.  Help us too, to put aside shame and pride, that if we have trouble finding your light, that we might reach out in the darkness to seek your light in others… amen.