Christ the King 2018

Christ the King
November 25, 2018

    What do you think of when you hear the name of Jesus?  What names for Jesus are your favorites? There are many names that we use to try and describe who Jesus is… If someone were to ask you who Jesus is, what would you say?   If we were to spend time meditating on the name of Jesus or a title that we use for him, I think we would all find that none of them are adequate. How do you describe the indescribable?

    On this, the last Sunday in the season of Pentecost, we are asked to examine who Jesus is… It is a question that we will get asked again and again as we enter into Advent, Christmas and Epiphany.  My hope for all of us, is that as we think about Jesus, our ideas will be challenged. If we get too comfortable, if Jesus becomes our pal, then perhaps we need to do some more work…

    It seems me that the conversation between Pilate and Jesus could be one of many places to start our own quest… Let’s remember that Pilate is a political animal.  The high priest sent Jesus to Pilate because of Jesus’ teachings, which are religious teachings… Throughout his ministry, Jesus did nothing to threaten Rome; he even paid his taxes with the coins of Caesar.  But when Jesus comes before Pilate, Pilate is not concerned about religious matters; Pilate is not Jewish; religious law is Herod’s business. Unless something becomes a threat to Rome’s authority, Pilate is willing to let it be.  So, Pilate puts the “problem” of Jesus into political terms: “Are you the King of the Jews?” Jesus, always ready to confront worldly ideas, let’s Pilate know that there is indeed a kingdom, but it is not of this world; that whatever happens in this world does not ultimately affect who Jesus is.  Jesus then turns the tables on Pilate to talk about testifying to the truth… We don’t have Pilate’s question that follows in this morning’s gospel, but we know it from Good Friday. Pilate asks, “What is truth?” Truth, as we come to learn is Jesus… all of him… even as he goes towards his death after being sentenced by Pilate for a political crime that he did not commit.  

    Christ the King, is an interesting title, especially when we take this conversation between Jesus and Pilate into consideration.  Jesus looks anything but kingly here, especially as the story continues. What images come to mind when we think about kings? We tend to think about crowns, and gold, and jewels, and political power… Maybe we think about philanthropy as we think about the royal family in England… what we DON’T think about is a wandering carpenter who preaches that the poor will be rich, or who goes around touching and healing those who society has forgotten.   When we hear the title King, we don’t think about the God of love who creates because of love; we don’t think of God who puts aside being God in order to become human so that God and humanity can become joined as they were before…

    Jesus’ very existence challenges all that we think about what it means to be king.  For Pilate, and I daresay for us, king is certainly a political title that brings with it all manner of worldliness.  And here’s the thing.... We like worldliness. We like stuff, we like security, we like stability and we tend to admire those who can help us to achieve our goals.  We, like Pilate, are political animals who put a great deal of clout into systems and causes… and I’m not trying to say that’s all bad… this is the world that God loves, that God created out of love, and sent his Son to save; but it’s not what our lives as followers of Jesus are primarily about.  Jesus’s message, while it certainly has political consequences, has nothing to do with the human systems that we have put in place. The kingdom of God does not look like any political parties idea of worldliness… but it IS the kingdom that God has set in motion here in our time and place… and you and I are the workers who are to help bring it about.  It is not easy work, it is not glamorous work… but it is the work we have been given… it is where you and I will find life… it is where all of God’s creation will experience the love and mercy of God… Jesus came to testify to that truth, and to show us what it looks like… and he was rejected.

    What do you think of when you hear the name of Jesus?  As we enter the holy season of waiting… I pray that we may come to a deeper understanding of who Jesus is… I pray that like Pilate, our desire for power and our love of worldliness may leave us… may we empty our hearts and our souls, so that Jesus can fill them with his love and his desire for all the world.  May we replace power with generosity, fear with love, taking with giving… May we become subjects of the one king who is all truth… Jesus of Nazareth.
   

All Saints 2018

All Saints Year B
November 4, 2018

    I have had some interesting meditations these last 2 weeks,  as I thought about this feast of All Saints. I am always grateful that this is one of those feast days that we can move to the following Sunday, so that we can all celebrate this feast together as a community and family.  It’s important for us to gather and to remember those people in our lives who have gone on before us, who we one day hope to see again when the kingdom of God is fully realized…

    So, the first meditation of mine, and let me just say that none of these were planned…. But the first happened on Friday of last week, October 26.  I had been hearing the news that Matt Shephard’s ashes were to be interred at the Episcopal Cathedral in Washington DC, also known as the national cathedral.  As you may remember, Matt was killed 20 years ago, beaten by 2 young men, and lashed to a wooden fence on a cold night in Laramie Wyoming. He was found the next day by a passing bicyclist who from a distance, thought he was a scarecrow.  Matt died of his injuries a few days later in a Colorado hospital. You might also remember, that Matt was gay, and his murder was viewed as a hate crime that shook the whole nation. Matt grew up as an Episcopalian, and was active in the church.  His parents had not interred his ashes up to this point because they feared that his grave would be desecrated by anti gay groups. Can you imagine being afraid of burying your loved one because of hate? What really brought me to tears about this story, was seeing a photograph of Bishop Gene Robinson carrying Matt’s ashes down the long cathedral aisle during the processional.  Bishop Robinson is a friend of Matt’s family, and when he was elected Bishop of New Hampshire, he was the first openly gay person to be elected bishop. The hate speech and mail about his consecration as bishop was so severe, and taken so seriously by the FBI, that both Bishop Robinson and Presiding Bishop Griswold wore bullet proof vests under their vestments… as he addressed the congregation that day, Bishop Robinson said, “Gently rest in this place.  You are safe now. And Matt, welcome home”. Words of comfort for a grieving family and community; words that speak of hope that extends from this earthly place to a heavenly peace.

    My next meditation about today, was thinking about my dear friend and mentor, Bill Mahedy, who died in 2011.  By his own admission, Bill had reached curmudgeon status before he died. I miss being able to call him and talk to him about stuff… and I could talk to him about anything.  One of the things that I miss most about him, is being supported by his absolute loyalty. When I met Bill, he was the college and young adult chaplain for San Diego… he was also involved for many years as a VA chaplain, working with Vietnam Veterans.  If Bill loved you, or even mostly liked you, there was very little that you could do to change his mind about you; that man was loyal to a fault… and let me tell you, we young adults were not always the most well behaved bunch; but no matter what, we could count on Padre to have our backs, and help us get out of whatever nonsense we found ourselves in...That is the kind of friendship you don’t get to have with just anyone.  I was fortunate enough to be able to visit Bill a couple of weeks before he died; we blessed each other, and I said, “Well Bill, save me a seat at the banquet”. “Trace, just say YO! when you get there so I’ll know.” Two friends, saying goodbye for the last time, hoping and knowing that one day they would say hello again. Or Yo. Same thing.

    The third thought or meditation about today, concerns the reading from Isaiah that we heard earlier.  As I was driving up to the city on Thursday, I was listening to the reading and meditation for the day from the app, “Pray as you Go.”  The reading that was chosen for that days meditation was this reading from Isaiah. Listen to the reading again:

On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples
a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines,
of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear.
And he will destroy on this mountain
the shroud that is cast over all peoples,
the sheet that is spread over all nations;
he will swallow up death forever.
Then the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces,
and the disgrace of his people he will take away from all the earth,
for the Lord has spoken.
It will be said on that day,
Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, so that he might save us.
This is the Lord for whom we have waited;
let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.

After the passage was read, there were some questions asked of the listeners.  One question was, what was the image that spoke most to us? And as I thought about it, I thought about the great feast as God’s table where there is no more death, and in fact, that death is ended, swallowed up forever, and I imagined Jesus wiping the tears from all those who had been grieving… the next question was, what did the image invoke in us?  As I sat there praying, I thought, Oh, how I want this image to be true; how I want it to be true for Matt, for Bill, for me, for all of us, and for all of those whom we love and see no more… and as I visualized it some more, I could see myself there, with people I loved and missed, and what struck me the most was the laughter… It was a place of joy, a place of great love, where Jesus was so close to us we could touch him… and I also knew, that the reading was telling me something that was true; It was telling me about hope; it was telling me that the things I hoped for for myself and for everyone were true; that the kingdom of God was indeed a reality that we would all one day experience in full; that today, we might not see those we love, that today, we might share stories and memories, but that one day, we, like Jesus whom we worship, will be raised from the dead, and our tears and our brokenness will be no more; that is the promise… and as I prayed and meditated on the reading from Isaiah I knew it was true… and today, we live in that place of longing for that time; but this is no idle time for us because the kingdom of God has begun here in this time and place; it’s not just a distant promise that doesn’t demand something from us now.   The reason we consider these people saints, or any person a saint, isn’t because they are perfect or pious; my friend Bill could curse up a storm, just in case you were wondering where I get it from; and it might be that his undying loyalty was a bit misguided sometimes; but these people are saints to us because they give us hope; they show us that God can use any of us to further the work of the kingdom; that perhaps dropping an f bomb when talking to a Vietnam Vet makes sense; our saints show us what love looks like; they give us a glimpse of what God’s love looks like… a love that we will one day know in full; and they show us what it looks like to live in the fullness of God’s kingdom at least for a few minutes; and that perhaps is what sainthood is really about; real people choosing to live close to Jesus when they can… choosing to love us as imperfect as we are....choosing to be a glimmer of hope even when things seem hopeless. It was so for them… which is why we love them, and I pray it is so for us both here and at the great feast at God’s table, where we may hear words such as Bishop Robinson’s, you are safe… welcome home...

Peter is human and so are we

Proper 19 Year B
September 16, 2018

    Back in the days when my friend Bill Mahedy was around, he and I would often get at least mildly irritated at the various goings on in the world.  Bill would always say, “Well Trace, I’m not God, and no one asked me. It’s probably why I’m not God. I’d do it differently.” We would both laugh at the thought of Bill being in charge of the universe, and decided that maybe things were better off left untouched by either of us.  But Bill was also very clear that as crazy making as humanity was, present company excluded, of course, that we were all God had to work with. “Well Trace,” he said, “the problem with the church is that it’s full of people; and, if God wanted us to be perfect, God should’ve done it differently.”

    We know of only one perfect person, Jesus, the Son of the living God; and his complete perfection didn’t save him from the rest of us.  In fact, it might just have been his undoing…

    I find today’s gospel reading interesting, and as is usually the case, if I really look at a passage of scripture carefully, even if I’ve read it countless times before, sometimes there’s something new and different that I hear.   Peter, champion of those with foot in mouth disease, once again gets really pretty upset with Jesus after Jesus tells the disciples about the future that awaits him in Jerusalem. I imagine, that Peter is not only shocked and afraid, but may also be thrown into a state of grief, and he doesn’t hide his emotions, but confronts Jesus with what I imagine is some pretty sharply worded language.  Of course, Jesus turns on him and offers his own sharply worded criticism, comparing Peter to Satan and telling him he’s too focused on earthly things. What I find interesting is the concept of denial that is at play here… First, Peter denies Jesus, something that Peter gets better at as things heat up; he denies Jesus by his inability to accept what Jesus is telling him; in a sense, Peter is denying Jesus and the cross; and then, after Peter gets a stern talking to,  Jesus turns around and says that his followers must deny THEMSELVES… and take up THEIR crosses and follow him. There doesn’t seem to be an easy way to be a follower of Jesus; his followers have to be willing to walk to the same dark places that Jesus will walk, and they have to be willing to carry their own cross… crosses, that aren’t about them, but are about the lives and hurts of others, because the cross that Jesus carried, he carried on our behalf… so Peter had the identity of Jesus right, and the denial of someone or something part right, just not who or what he was supposed to deny; he let his fear and his concern for himself get the best of him; and if cross bearing is about anything, it’s not about us…

    What we don’t hear in Mark’s version of the story, is the part of the story that is in Matthew’s gospel, where after Peter confesses that Jesus is the Messiah, that Jesus tells him that he, Peter, once known as Simon, is the rock upon whom the church shall be built.  So there he is, Peter, a name that comes from the greek for rock; he is the one on whom the church shall be built, and in just a few sentences, we see that this rock really isn’t as strong as we might like. Peter becomes humanity personified… not strong and resilient, but rather someone who makes mistakes, someone who fears, someone who denies Jesus… and yet, this one, this imperfect human is whom Jesus chooses to build the church… and we know that after the resurrection, Peter travels to Antioch and Rome and other places preaching about Jesus and helping the early church settle matters about which they disagreed.  

    Peter is far from a perfect person, and while we don’t have accounts of all of his conversations with Jesus, the ones we do have, always seem to show how much Peter gets wrong.  But here’s what he gets right… he keeps showing up; he stays in relationship with the other disciples and with Jesus; even when things go horribly wrong, Peter always manages to turn himself and his will back toward Jesus and the gospel.  That’s really great news for you and me; at least I think it is… Like my pal Bill would say, we’re all God’s got to work with; we are the ones who are given the gift of the Son and the Holy Spirit, and we are the imperfect people that have been called to take up our crosses, follow Jesus, and become living temples of the Holy Spirit.  Yikes. That’s a lot of pressure. Yet even when Peter got it wrong, horribly wrong, Jesus never said, “Nevermind dude, I was wrong about you”. Rather, Jesus kept calling Peter to be more than Peter thought he could be, and even though he didn’t always do the right thing, he loved Jesus and tried so very hard to live his life as a faithful disciple.

    Being a disciple is hard work, especially when we take the cross of Jesus seriously.  You and I have denied him before, and we all will do it again; we will long to take the easy way out and run from the hard stuff; we will call Jesus Messiah and Lord in one breath, and say, “Oh hell no, I’m not doing that!” with the next.  It’s who we are as humans. Self preservation is always at the heart of what we desire; sometimes, we are able to rise above that desire and do the right thing, regardless of the consequences to ourselves…

    And here’s the thing; we are all broken in some fashion, and probably in more than one; some of us are battling physical issues that make it harder for us to do some of the physical work of ministry that Jesus asks of us; some of us are battling mental illness or addiction that makes it difficult to see beyond ourselves; some of us are too busy trying to support families; and of course, some of us are just plain stubborn or too afraid to get involved, or we get tired of the grind.  I get it. I have fallen into all of those categories at some point in my life; but the life of Peter, the life of my cantankerous buddy Bill, the lives of all of you tell me this; Jesus loves us… and, Jesus can use even us to advance the kingdom, because, as my friend Bill said, “we’re all he’s got”. And there’s a certain peace and celebration in that, because there’s always SOMETHING that we can do, no matter what the obstacles are in our lives. Like Peter, we can just keep at it, knowing that the Spirit lives within us, helping us to move forward towards the kingdom; all of us can do something to help others realize the gospel of Jesus.  We sometimes think praying isn’t enough; but as someone who has been lifted by the prayers of others, I know how important it is; take your weekly service bulletins home and pray for the people and places on the list; we all need to make the work of the kingdom a priority, no matter what we place in our way to stop us. Whoever we are, whatever we have done, whatever ways we have denied Jesus, those are not what defines who we are; it’s Jesus who defines us, because he loves us enough to stay by our sides no matter how many times we deny him. And that, is why Jesus is God and we are not; his radical love and forgiveness is just not something you or I are capable of… but like Peter, we can learn from our mistakes, and keep on going, acting like the disciples that we are.  Today, may we discover some of the obvious and perhaps not so obvious ways that we deny Jesus… and may we know that with his love and acceptance, we can overcome the obstacles we place in the way of our relationship with him, and move toward realizing the kingdom without shame or fear or lack of confidence. Our opening collect for today I think sums this up well:

Let us pray:

O God, because without you we are not able to please you, mercifully grant that your Holy Spirit may in all things direct and rule our hearts; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Be doers of the word

Proper 17 Year B
September 2, 2017

    I remember the first biography I read in elementary school; it was the biography of Arthur Ashe, the tennis player.  I was fascinated by this amazing man who is still the only African American man to win the US open and Wimbledon. He used his fame to help African American youth by teaching tennis clinics in the inner city. I continued to try and follow Ashe’s life throughout the years; even when his own health became an issue, he was a spokesman for the American Heart Association.  Later when he learned he had contracted HIV/AIDS from a blood transfusion, he was incredibly active until his death, educating people about this disease, creating the Arthur Ashe Foundation for the defeat of AIDS. He was also politically active, protesting about the treatment of Haitian refugees. I admired him greatly. He was one of those amazing people that managed to overcome obstacles and use even a deadly illness for the good of others.

    I loved reading biographies when I was in school.  I loved finding out about people and the things they accomplished.  I still enjoy a really good historical novel for the same reason; I find it fascinating to think about what might have motivated people to act in certain ways.  It’s obviously not entirely easy to understand motives and reasons… but that’s what makes it interesting. But scripture is a different story, isn't it? It's not like reading a novel or biography simply because we are interested in the person or subject… Scripture certainly helps us to learn about God and about the life of Jesus;. But for us scripture is a living story, where we find our own connections to what we hear and read.  And hopefully, no matter how often we hear or read parts of scripture, we still find something new and different to inspire us.

    We hear a great deal this morning about the law, and how important it is for those who want to live a Godly life, to follow God’s law.  The letter of James even calls it the law of liberty. Kind of funny to think about following the law as a path to liberty, isn’t it? And yet, when we have a path before us that helps us to live our lives according to God’s desires, rather than ours, there is a sense of freedom that I think can be experiences by not having to think about some of the choices in front of us; it’s kind of like the person who has been sober for a while, who might think the occasional drink sounds good; yet he knows, that if he continues to remain sober, he will not fall victim to his addiction that keeps him imprisoned in so many ways…

    “...be doers of the word, and not merely hearers who deceive themselves. For if any are hearers of the word and not doers, they are like those who look at themselves in a mirror; for they look at themselves and, on going away, immediately forget what they were like. But those who look into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and persevere, being not hearers who forget but doers who act-they will be blessed in their doing.”  

    Doers of the word… As I thought about this part of the letter of James this week, I had  few thoughts… My first, rather silly thought, was that whoever coined the term “actions speak louder than words” must have paid close attention to this part of scripture; I discovered later in the week, that the term was first used in the U.S. by Abraham Lincoln, whose biography was the second one I read in elementary school.  I knew I liked him! My second thought had to do with being doers of the word, and the word being the perfect law, and I began to wonder… So often, in the New Testament when we talk about the word, we are speaking of the Word as the second member of the Trinity, Jesus the Son. I think that James is speaking of the law, the Torah given by God to God’s people.  For us, though, Jesus is the embodiment and the new translation of the law. In Jesus, the law becomes a living being that responds to God’s people and God’s world, as the law reinterpretted. In Jesus, the disciples and you and I are given not just someone to admire and copy, but we are given the one whose adherence to the law is perfect… We can certainly read all day long about what we are supposed to do, right?  But written words by themselves, while important don’t tend to make the kind of impression that knowing a person or knowing a person’s actions tend to make. It comes down to relationship, I think. If you and I have a relationship with Jesus, if we participate in the sacraments of the church where we receive God’s grace, if we read scripture and truly engage the stories we find there, I think we begin to see and act differently.  If we believe that the Holy Spirit lives in us through our baptism, and if we believe, as we have heard for many weeks now that Jesus is the living bread that came down from heaven, then, we cannot help but be changed. We no longer sit by as observers in God’s world, but because the Spirit moves and prays within us, we long to be like Jesus, we long to be those who reflect his law in the world… the law of liberty lives in us and we are not imprisoned by the death dealing desires of the world… but rather are moved to be in relationship with all of those whom God loves… our hearts become filled with the desire to do the things that Jesus does, things that look like the perfect law that walked on the earth.

    May we be always be doers of the law, no matter how difficult that may be.  May we never deceive ourselves into thinking that God isn’t calling us to move beyond ourselves into the world that God has created… may we always know that God’s law is the law of love that moves us to live God’s law in all that we do.

   

   

Bread from heaven in our hands

Proper 15 year B
August 19, 2018

    I remember the first time I walked into an Episcopal church.  I was probably about 22 years old, and still in the Navy. I had grown up in the Roman Catholic church.  My parents didn’t go, but I would go with a friend of mine and her family usually on Saturday nights. What I liked about Saturday night church is that you could dress a little more casually, and so, I chose to wear my silver glitter marshmallow shoes.  If you don’t know what those are, just google it. They were very popular in the 70’s and I loved mine. They were at Saturday evening mass every Saturday that I went…

    Anyway, when my dad died, I stopped going to church… I had tried to go back at various times when I was in the Navy, but for lots of reasons that aren’t important, it just didn’t seem to stick.  When I got sober, I knew that I needed church in order for my recovery to succeed. That may not be true for everyone, but it’s true for me. I went to different churches back then; it was an eye opening experience because where I grew up you were either Catholic or Jewish; I didn’t know anything else existed until I was an adult.  Anyway, I found out about the Episcopal church while attending a class on European history. We were learning about the Reformation, and talked briefly about what that looked like in England, and how the Church of England was the mother church of the Episcopal Church here in the US. Then my teacher made some off handed comment about “Catholic but no Pope” and my ears were suddenly interested.  I went home that night, and looked in the phone book and discovered that I lived near the Cathedral in San Diego. So, I went to church that Sunday. I walked in, and suddenly, I realized I was home… I realized as I looked at the service bulletin, the stained glass, the kneelers, and of course, the altar, I realized that I had come home. As communion started, I realized what I had been missing in all those churches I had visited.  There was something about seeing a priest at an altar, taking bread, blessing it, breaking it and giving it, that spoke to me deeply. As I lifted my hands to receive, I knew somehow that there was more to what I was receiving than mere bread. Somehow, I knew that Jesus was there, and that I was taking in his presence; I knew I was changed, and I know that I am changed each time I receive communion.
    Communion, or Eucharist, which comes from the greek word for Thanksgiving, is, I think, the single most important thing that you and I do together.  The church does many things; and most of those things are very good! But many of those things can be done in other places, with other people… but it is only when we gather as the church, not necessarily in the church but as the church, and we say the ancient prayers which turn bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ… that is when we are truly doing what the church does; it is our primary calling to be fed with the flesh and blood of eternal life that only Jesus gives… and when we are fed, it is then that we can engage in the work Jesus has asked us to do…

    And the thing is, we don’t have to come in some sort of state of readiness; because honestly, who is ready?  Who is worthy? Who truly understands? Jesus asks us simply to come… and he takes care of the rest…

    I brought a favorite Icon with me today.  It’s called the beloved disciple, who tradition tells us is John, the writer of the gospel that bears his name.  There are several things I love about this image. First, the beloved disciple comes to Jesus, hands outstretched, knowing that Jesus is the bread of life that came down from heaven.  His face is not looking directly at Jesus perhaps because he cannot bring himself to believe he is loved enough to be in the Lord’s presence. Jesus, enfolds the disciple in an embrace while also blessing the bread and wine that he will share with the disciple.  Both the disciple and Jesus show expressions of great love, and Jesus looks beyond the disciple in a way that invites us all to participate with them. At the bottom, the icon says, “My heart and my flesh cry out, O God, O living God”.

    The disciple’s heart and flesh cry out for the living bread that comes down from heaven… his cry, his desire, is our desire.  We come to this table as our hearts cry out for the flesh of the living God, which gives us the gift of eternal life, but perhaps even more importantly, makes us one with Jesus, not just in the next life, but in this one right here and now… Jesus joins us when we are broken and makes us whole; he joins us when we are ripped apart by our fear and anger, and gives us peace; he joins us in our sorrow and gives us joy… he joins us in our death and gives us life.

        I have seen many hands extended just as the disciples’ hands are extended in the Icon.  The disciple brings all that he is to the Christ who gives him everything… I sometimes get a glimpse of what the hands I see bring to the tables I have served… just a glimpse… the woman who was dying of cancer who had lost her hair; the family that traveled to another country to adopt the son they had wanted for so long; the beautiful hands of children who know exactly how to be thankful; hands of friends, hands of those who didn’t care if I was there at all; hands of those whose faith was a struggle; hands of the wealthy, the poor… all of them hands outstretched knowing somehow that Jesus is the bread that comes down from heaven, seeking healing, seeking wholeness, seeking… always seeking…

    Today our hearts and our very flesh cry out to God… may we all find wholeness at this table.  May we find peace… may we find life. If we come, I know that we shall.

Shepherds, disciples, and prayer

Proper 11 Year B
July 22, 2018

I wish I could remember the exact wording of something I saw this week.  It said something to the effect of, “Faith isn't about believing everything will turn out alright; faith is about knowing God will be with you when it doesn't”.

There are lots of reasons I like that… I am not an “everything happens for a reason” person or a “God never gives you more than you can handle” person. I tend to think that most of the time when we say things like that it's because we don't know what to say.  I don't think God just acts in ways that are harmful to us...God doesn't seek to hurt any of us...But let's be real; there are times in every life when it seems like we’re getting beat up on. Stuff of all sorts piles up, we get super busy and can't seem to find our way out of the mess we find ourselves in.  In those times it's hard to know what to do or what to believe.
I would also say, that it's just as damaging to believe that if we have enough faith, whatever that means, and if we pray hard enough, whatever THAT means, that God will make everything alright.  Both of these approaches seem to me to put more power into our ways of thinking, rather than placing power where it belongs, which is with God.

Both psalm 23 and our gospel lesson today helped me to think about faith and about our life with God.  Psalm 23 has been a comfort to many of us at various times in our lives. But notice that the psalmist still has to walk through the darkness, through the valley of death; the faith of the psalmist doesn't protect them from the darkness.  However, their faith helps them to realize that they are not alone as they journey through the dark… their faith helps them to go through it and come out the other side. Faith in God, it seems, gives the psalmist the encouragement that no matter how dark it gets,
God will be with them to guide them through it… not lessen the darkness, but guide them through it.  

Jesus shows us more in our Gospel today.  He tells the disciples that they must go away to a deserted place to rest and to pray...the work of discipleship isn't easy and without time to pray and renew one’s relationship with God, the life of a disciple is impossible.  We can only really know God’s presence when we take the time to know it. As they get to the other side, people start to swamp them again and Jesus has compassion on the crowd. They are scattered and afraid. I can imagine him saying to the others, you go on and rest.  I will take care of this...and then he stays with the crowd to heal and to teach. Their land was occupied by the empire so there was lots of reason to be afraid. I imagine as in other times, Jesus taught them about God’s kingdom and the fact that they had a place in it, a place that made them equals, a place where there were no occupying forces.  He healed those who were brought to him, a sure sign that God’s kingdom was beginning here on Earth as it was in heaven.

Jesus does have compassion, and wants to alleviate their suffering… he certainly heals, but what about those who aren't brought to him?  And what about the occupation? Jesus hasn't come to overthrow earthly power forces; but he has come to teach people what the kingdom of God looks like...he has come to tell them that God is with them, that HE is with them as the one who God lives in in human form.  Prayer, is necessary for us to know God. But prayer is not about controlling the outcomes. Jesus didn't heal everyone. Jesus didn't bring down some mighty lightning to undo the occupation...but he did enter into relationship with the people. He taught them what right paths looked like, and he taught them that unlike the empire, God’s kingdom had no walls, no barriers, no outcasts.  

Faith, love, life in God...none of it has manipulation as it's beginning or it's goal.  We don't always get what we want in our prayers...physical healing isn't always given. But God’s love, given to us in Jesus and the Holy Spirit are a given.  No matter where we find ourselves, Jesus is with us helping us get to the other side. I encourage all of us in this hectic world to go away to a quiet place to pray so that we will always know that we can be led through the darkness, back into the light.  Relationship with God is crucial to our well-being and to be in relationship we must pray… and we, like Jesus, are asked to have compassion on our brothers and sisters who need a Shepherd; may we teach them about the kingdom of God in all that we say and do.

Woman healed

Proper 8 Year B
Pentecost 6
July 1, 2018

    A long time ago, when I first started going to an Episcopal church, there was a women’s retreat in the diocese.  Several of us from the cathedral went on this retreat. I remember the name of the retreat: it was called “And Sarah Laughed”, referring to Abraham’s wife and her reaction to being told that she was going to have a child.  At that retreat, we were all assigned different women from biblical stories. The story I was assigned, was the one that we heard today, the woman who was healed by touching Jesus’ clothes. I spent the weekend writing about this unnamed woman, and praying about her experience when she met Jesus.  Since then this story has always been a very personal and very special story everytime I hear it. Several years ago, the Episcopal church adopted using the Revised Common Lectionary for it’s Sunday worship schedule of readings, rather than using the Episcopal schedule of readings. Sometimes, I am not a fan of the new lectionary; but, today, I am quite a fan.  In the old lectionary the story of the woman was removed; I vowed if I ever preached on a weekend where this passage came up, I would add this woman’s story back in, so could preach on her story. Fortunately, I didn’t need to add it back in.

    This story has followed me since that retreat.  When I was in seminary, it came up again. I was doing my daily bible reading from a different translation than we were using in church.  When I read the story, which was the version in Luke’s gospel, the woman said if she touched Jesus’ clothes, she knew she would be healed; in the version I read, much like today, it said “I shall be made well.” We were doing greek word studies, so I did the study to find out what the original greek said and meant.  It definitely was more of a made well than a healed.

    I find this to be an important reminder of what it means to be part of the kingdom of God.  For me, this story illustrates that the kingdom of God is both here and not here… Sometimes, I think we get so tied up in what happens to us after we die, that we forget that there’s more to Christianity than that.

    This woman’s healing, or being made well affected everything about her, just as her illness had.  She was bleeding for 12 years. Bleeding like that would mean that she couldn’t have children: it would mean that she probably wasn’t married, if she ever was.  She was considered “unclean” because of her bleeding for that whole 12 years which separated her from worship, family, friends, and likely had to beg or depend on the kindness of others to live.  Basically, everything about her life was taken away except the isolation of being untouchable.

What I love about her story is that she realizes when she is close to Jesus that she has already lost EVERYTHING, so taking a risk really didn’t have any consequences she hadn’t already suffered daily.  A strange woman touching a man was already a problem, but a bleeding woman? Oh no… that would make him unclean for at least 24 hours, and likely cause problems, if anyone knew. But all she knew, is that her wholeness depended on touching  Jesus. I don’t think she expected what happened. He knew someone had touched him and that power had healed someone… she knew, she was healed. And now, she needed to fess up because HE knew. She was afraid because she knew touching him could get her in trouble… but it didn’t.  I don’t think in her wildest dreams she could imagine the exchange that happened. “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace and be healed from your disease…” This woman who was shunned from all aspects of normal life, is suddenly called a daughter… BAM ... pulled on the spot by God into the kingdom… adopted as one of God’s own beloved forever… from isolated to loved more than she could ever imagine… and everything about her life that had been taken away, through no fault of her own, I might add, is now hers again.  By being physically healed, her live here and now is restored, as well as her life in the after life. She received a whole lot more than she bargained for… All of it, in the second it took her to touch Jesus, who by the way, is not the LEAST bit concerned with her making him unclean… because, well, it’s Jesus… no one can make him unclean…

What I want to say about this story, is that it has implications for us too.  I think many of us get tied up into what is going to happen to us when we die.  I know growing up I was constantly threatened with some book that God made marks in either for or against us depending on what we did… the holy checks and balances that decided whether we went to heaven or hell…

Having the comfort of eternal life with God is absolutely important and necessary.  And here’s the spoiler alert: Marked as Christ’s own forever. There is NOTHING you or I could do to separate us from the love of God.  Jesus as already destroyed the gates of hell so that we don’t have to worry about it any longer. Like the woman in the story, we have been adopted as God’s own forever.  So, no worries there.

What I want to remind all of us about is that the kingdom of God is also about our lives here and now.  “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on EARTH, as it is in heaven.” We don’t know what happened to the woman after she left Jesus but I can imagine that her life became one where she never took anything for granted and tried to help others as much as she could.  She was now one of his disciples, responsible for helping to bring the kingdom to earth… just like you and me. We might look at her story and think that we aren’t so primitive as to exclude someone for an illness like hers, but if we are honest with ourselves and search our hearts, we KNOW that there are people we consider untouchable in ways that are deeper than physical, where our attitudes and behaviors succeed in pushing people to the margins and beyond.  I would guess that for almost ALL of those people that we find untouchable in deep ways that affect their wellbeing, that the situation that makes them untouchable is something that is beyond their control, perhaps the color of their skin or where they were born, or their inability to work… and yet somehow we have our own purity codes that are every bit as destructive as the ones that helped this woman’s suffering for 12 years. And there are people too, who suffer in ways that we cannot even see; people who look ok, like they’re making it and everything is fine… and yet, some hidden thing, is keeping them from participating in life fully; something is destroying relationships, or destroying them, and we have no clue.  

Suffering people are everywhere… and as those who have been adopted by God, marked as Christ’s own forever, we are filled with the Holy Spirit to do God’s work in the world so that the kingdom might be a reality here and now; a reality that includes all… because God loves all… not just those whom we would consider touchable.  

The woman’s very life blood was escaping her body at an alarming rate… no doubt without healing, she would have died.  There are those in our communities that are hemorrhaging in ways that are every bit as serious. Some have bled hope until it looks as though there is none left.  Maybe, like the woman they will reach out and touch one of us to get the healing they need, but probably not. WE need to reach out, and like Jesus not be concerned with who or why… excuses like, “Well, homeless guys just use your money for booze” may or may not be true, but either way it’s none of our business.  If we have the power, we must use it, no matter who the outcast is. There is much that needs to be healed. I pray we can all be such beacons of Jesus’ light, that those who need to be healed will reach out and touch us… and if they can’t for some reason, I pray we may love enough to bring them into our embrace.

Faith vs. knowdge

Proper 6 B18
4th Sunday after Pentecost
June 17, 2018

    My dear mentor and friend, Bill Mahedy, that I have spoken of before, used to say that he enjoyed seeing bumper stickers that said “Jesus is the answer”.  Bill’s issue with most of the folks who had that bumper sticker, or so he said was that he was sure they didn’t really know what the questions were…

    In our lessons today and in our opening prayer, the issue of faith comes up.  I find faith, or at least talking about faith, to be a difficult if not impossible task; and of course, it also depend who I’m talking to.  Faith, is not the same thing as knowledge; and I think that faith is much harder because there isn’t proof, which I think is the whole point; the minute we have proof of something, then it switches from faith to knowledge…

    Over the years, I have found it interesting to watch how people talk about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and faith… When I go to Barnes and Noble, I like to see the various books that have been written on spiritual issues.  It all tells me that we all have a desire for God; we all are seeking for some kind of connection to God and hopefully to each other; when we get into trouble is when we speak with certainty about God’s motives or about who exactly God is… another need we all seem to have is a need to have answers and to have things clear cut.  Well, there is nothing clear cut about prayer or about Jesus or the spiritual life.

    I am reading a book right now by Rachel Held Evans.  She spoke here at the diocese sometime last year. She talks about her journey from a place where her church provided all the answers to life; where gender roles were clearly defined, and God’s desires for her and her family were spelled out in scripture.  It was a place where faith was shown by how much you prayed and how you prayed; and if something bad happened, then it was proof that you didn’t have enough faith or that you didn’t pray hard enough. It’s a slippery place I think, because people are attempting to have knowledge of things that they cannot know; and, it’s ultimately incredibly hurtful to people and their relationship with God.

    Faith, it seems to me, is often quite simple; I can remember visiting my grandmother who was well into her 90’s.  She didn’t speak much English, but we managed, and I loved her dearly. Each time I got ready to leave after our visit, she would bless me; I can still hear her voice and the blessing in Spanish.  My grandmother was a tough old lady who had been around the block a few times, and she lived a rough life. Her funeral was probably the first time she had set foot in a church in decades; yet, she wanted to bless her granddaughter with the blessing and faith of her family.  I know she had faith in God… and I know that her faith sustained her in those last years when she lost her sight. Her blessing and prayers for me certainly sustained me.

    So to get back to Rachel’s book, and the Jesus is the answer bumper sticker… in her chapter on war stories, Rachel says “So to whatever extent God owes us an explanation for the Bible’s war stories, Jesus, is that explanation.”  Earlier she says, “On the cross, Jesus chose to align himself with the victims of suffering, rather than the inflictors of it.” (Pg 77).

    Let’s face it; on any given day, if any of us have faith the size of a mustard seed, it’s a good day.  Faith is hard; it takes living our lives in community where we are held accountable for our actions. It takes reading scripture together and struggling with the inconsistencies and the dreadful parts that don’t make sense.  Faith takes allowing the grace of the sacraments feed our hearts and souls so that we might experience Jesus in the flesh… Knowledge is good… but faith takes us further; and we know that it’s not a constant, we know that we struggle and sometimes need the faith of our community to carry us… and we have questions… lots of them, and questions need to be asked even when there isn’t an answer.  I am more comforted by an honest “I don’t know” than a sure “everything happens for a reason.” God so loved the world, that God is present in all of our lives in Jesus… Jesus so loved the world that he promised to be with us to the end of the age, and that he would be present when we gather to receive him at his table. He promised he would be in the midst of us whenever two or three are gathered… maybe he said that because he knew that whenever we gather, some of us would need to rest in the faith of the others…  May the love of Jesus surround us all, and strengthen us to have faith in him, and to love the world as he loves it. Jesus, is the answer, whatever the question might be…

Let us pray:  Keep, O Lord, your household the Church in your steadfast faith and love, that through your grace we may proclaim your truth with boldness, and minister your justice with compassion; for the sake of our Savior Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Reaching out to give hope

Third Sunday after Pentecost
Proper 5 Year B
June 19 2015

    When Danny was still an infant, we had to have his hearing checked because he had failed an earlier test; he had tubes placed in his ears and we were going in for a follow up.  Hearing issues are common in children with Down Syndrome, so I was following a path that many had trod before me. Back in those early days, I spent many, many, days afraid for him.  Every time I read a book or an article, there were more and more things I had to watch out for; developmental markers, hearing, he had already conquered issues with his heart; the slightest unknown fever brought fears for leukemia… it’s not a great list.  I do however, remember reading that children with Down syndrome did have less tooth decay than there typical peers, so there is that.

    Anyway, I was in the audiology waiting room, waiting for his test, and there was an older African American woman sitting in the chair next to us.  She looked down at Dan in his carrier and smiled. Then she turned to me and said “I know that face. He’s going to be OK, and he’s beautiful.” I thanked her, and as we talked some more, she told me she had a niece with Down Syndrome, who had had a rough time of it early in her life.  She had to have heart surgery early on, she had some hearing issues, and the usual low immune system things that these kids have. Her niece was about to turn 24. She told me, “I know she’s going to be OK because she bosses the rest of us around. She definitely knows what she wants!” We both laughed, and I said I expected the same from Dan who came by it honestly.  Then it was time for us to go to our test, and I thanked her for her kind words. As I thought about her later, I realized she gave me the hope I desperately needed as a new special needs mom. Somehow her soft voice, her loving gaze and Dan and her laughter were exactly what I needed to bring some light into what was becoming a very dark place for me. I was filled with fear all the time… and she had just the right words to tell me it was going to be ok.

This week, the news has been filled with the stories of the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain.  I know there is at least one Kate Spade piece in my house somewhere, and even though I don’t watch many cooking shows, I have always enjoyed Anthony Bourdain when I have caught him on television.  But apart from that, two beautiful children of God were caught in places of extreme darkness where for them, there didn’t seem to be enough light to guide them out of the darkness. I wonder how many other children of God ended their lives this week that we don’t know about… I do know that suicide among teens and preteens is at astronomically high rates.  

Most of you know that I have lupus, and it seems like each year there are new and annoying ways that my body fails me.  It is frustrating, and sometimes frightening, and almost always painful, but it is the reality of my life right now… I don’t like it… but, most days, it’s not a deep, dark place for me; sometimes I get afraid, but not often.  I have mostly made peace with my day to day pain. I try not to think of what the future might hold.

In our readings today, Paul tells us that even though our bodies, our outer nature is wasting away, that our inner nature is being strengthened; that one day we will know glory beyond measure.  And, I believe that, it is the hope that we have been handed for generations Scripture and in the Book of Common Prayer. What I want to say though, is that the hope that Jesus gives us through the Holy Spirit, is not just something for us to cling to for comfort when we die.  That’s important, but it’s also important for us to know that Jesus means for us to receive comfort from the Holy Spirit now, in this time and place. This is the world that Jesus loves, and so, this is the world where the Spirit works. And how does the Spirit work? The Spirit works through each of us, depending on us to use the gifts we have been given to bring about the kingdom of God here on earth as it is in heaven.  And the good Lord knows we have a long way to go. But we are the light, we are the laborers that have been called to the field to finish what Jesus started. And sometimes I think, it’s not even the big stuff, but it’s the little stuff that matters; the woman in the audiology waiting room did not have to engage me about my son; but she did; she moved beyond herself to offer hope and light to someone else…

I don’t know why suicide happens… I know that often people’s sense of community has disappeared; we don’t know who are neighbors are, jobs take us to different places, people are embarrassed to say that they need help.  And if someone succeeds in killing themselves, people say things like “oh, they had so much to live for… I never would have guessed they were hurting…”

In my opinion, suicide is an act of desperation, where it seems like the only answer is to end the gift that has been given by God.  How tragic it is that anyone has to feel that way. Our psalm today speaks of the great need of the psalmist for God…”Out of the depths have I called to you, O Lord, hear my voice”... I can say that the Lord always hears our voices, even at our darkest moments; I can also say, that you and I are the answer to another’s prayers.  Sometimes we have to reach beyond ourselves and our own worries to another so that they know they aren’t alone; sometimes, we have to offer a word of hope, a word of love. Sometimes we have to be that example that lets someone know they are loved, and that their life matters to us and to God. Sometimes, we have to be that tough love kind of person who says “I love you… now let me get you some help.”  There is no shame is professional help; no shame in 12 step meetings; no shame in medications that are meant to help ease one out of depression. You all know that Dan sees a psychiatrist for his autism… that doctor told me when Dan started seeing him that if ever I needed help, he was there for me too… He said I had lots of points against me for depression…. I was female, I was a female of a particular age, I was a special needs mom, I was clergy, and I had a chronic illness that caused me chronic pain… at the time, I laughed him off because I was so used to handling everything myself… it took 2 years but one day I showed up in his office for an appointment of my own… and he said...well, I’m glad you’re finally here.  And yes, I take medicine for depression. Yes, some days are still damn hard… but… I have people in my life who reach out; I surround myself with reminders of just how good God is. Everyday I find some reason to give thanks to God… even if it’s just for the crazy puppy who won’t stop barking at the neighbors…

God hears us even in the darkness… even when our lives, our external selves seem like they aren’t working the way they should, God loves us just as we are… if we can reach beyond ourselves to ask for what we need, or at least just reach out even if we don’t know what we need… the light will shine… if we can reach out to another, even when it looks like they have it all together… maybe we can be the hope and light that another needs…  If you should find yourself in that kind of dark place, Mother Beth, Tex or I are a phone call away. Please know that because Jesus lives, God desires that we live…

Let us pray:

Help us O Lord to carry to the light of Christ to others so that they may know how much you love them.  Help us too, to put aside shame and pride, that if we have trouble finding your light, that we might reach out in the darkness to seek your light in others… amen.

Pentecost: I become what I receive

Pentecost 2018

    (Singing)  I become what I receive…. I become what I receive…(Alana Levandoski)

    I posted this beautiful chant on facebook about 2 weeks ago and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head or my heart since.  I find myself singing it throughout the day… it has become a daily prayer, a type of praying without ceasing. The artist, is a woman by the name of Alana Levandoski, a Canadian mom of three, who I believe, is also Anglican.  

    Anyway, this simple chant seems incredibly relevant to me as we celebrate the great feast of Pentecost.  Today is the last day of the great 50 days of Easter, that begins with the miraculous resurrection of Jesus, and ends with Jesus’ gift of the Holy Spirit.  We are all familiar with the wonderful story from the Book of Acts, where flames dance on the heads of the apostles, and people are spoken to in their own languages; it is a wonderfully chaotic time that begins the apostles ministry to the ends of the earth; the are given the Holy Spirit to allow them to preach the gospel of Jesus an to bring good news of the kingdom of God.

    I am particularly moved this year by the words of Jesus in John’s gospel this morning.  “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, because he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine. For this reason I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.”  I have mentioned before that I love how John’s gospel makes it clear that God the Father, Jesus and now the Holy Spirit, form such a community of holiness and love that they share equally in this world that they have created out of love. The Holy Spirit is given to humanity to help them to live into the reality of the kingdom of God…The Holy Spirit is God's very love, overflowing and given to us.

    So… what do we think about that?  What do we think of when we hear the words from our Baptism service, “you are sealed by the Holy Spirit in baptism, and marked as Christ’s own forever”?  Do we feel God calling us to life in the kingdom? Or have we let other things get in the way so that we have become deaf to God’s call? Have our lives as baptized people become so routine that we have forgotten just how radical it is?  Have we forgotten just how powerful the love of God is?

    Let us remember that God so loved the world, that he entered into human history in Jesus so that God could be close to us.  Let us remember that in that life, God’s nature and human nature were joined together making us children of the living God forever.  Let us remember that there is nothing routine about the life that Jesus led. He lived his life so close to God the Father, that there were many who couldn’t handle how his life reminded how far they had fallen from God’s ideal that the killed him.  Let us remember that while his body laid in the tomb, Jesus descended to the dead, breaking open the gates of hell so that no one would spend eternity separated from the love presence of God ever again. Let us remember, that Jesus has given us the gift of the Holy Spirit that lives in us, and prays in us, and helps us to make our prayers into actions of love and justice for all God’s people.  Let us remember, that we, you and I are heirs of the kingdom, and because the Holy Spirit lives in us, that WE are to become God’s truth, God’s love and God’s peace; we are to continue the work that Jesus began… let. us. remember...

    Beloved, the world needs the Spirit of Truth that we have been given.   The work of justice and peace and love is not even close to finished. There are children out there who believe that killing other children solves problems; there are children in our own neighborhood who will go to bed hungry tonight; world powers are itching for more war while war rages in other places for years and years; there are people so desperate to escape the evil that has invaded their homeland, that they are willing to risk death to get to somewhere that might give their children a chance to live without fear; political discourse has become so filled with hatred that does nothing but further hurt the least of these…  This is the world that God loves… imperfect, broken but loved. This is the world that God has given to us, as God once gave it to Jesus, and God has given us the Holy Spirit to give us the power to love and to act in God’s world. We must become what we receive; each Sunday we gather to receive the body and blood of Christ within our very bodies, reminding us, that we are temples of God’s Holy Spirit, and Jesus’ hands and feet in the world… as Paul tells us this morning, the Spirit helps us in our weakness; we are not alone in this work of the kingdom. Let us remember that we have a community of hope that keeps us all accountable, and we have Jesus’ Holy Spirit praying in us and through us… this day, may that Spirit lead us to have our prayers become actions that will help us to bring the kingdom of God here, this day, and may it be good news… Come Holy Spirit and be our guide… help us to be the temples that you have created us to be… Help us to become the love that we receive.

    (Sing) I become what I receive...

Trinity Sunday 2018

Trinity Sunday 2018

    Today the Church celebrates the great mystery of the Trinity, which I always thought was kind of redundant in a way… isn’t every Sunday Trinity Sunday?

    Earlier this week, the minister provincial of my order asked us to fill in this sentence:  We are an order because… Most of us included being a community somewhere in our answer. In the lives that we all live as Christians, having a community of love and support around us is incredibly important to our wellbeing and to the life of the whole community.  WHen I was in the navy in boot camp, our mantra was “Teamwork is the key to success”. We knew that our lives could depend on another at any time, and we did not serve alone. It is the same for us. We cannot live this life that we have been baptized into without a community.  We need others to hold us accountable… we need others to love and be loved by… we were created to be together, and it is in being together that we mirror God’s life. In the great mystery of Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we see, perhaps imperfectly the life of God which is lived in God’s community of the Trinity.  Three persons, one God is impossible for us to truly grasp… it is a math problem with no solution; and it is also hard to realize sometimes that God’s time isn’t linear… all persons of the Trinity have always been.., and they have always all been involved in God’s actions. What is said of the Father, is said of the Son and of the Spirit… God so loved the world, that God gave all things life, and loved us so much that we too are adopted into the life that is God’s life lived in community….

    We cannot love in a vacuum by ourselves…and love is difficult, but it is also life giving.  God knows both of those realities, especially because of the life the Son lived in Jesus. How difficult it must have been and still is to love those who betray him and misunderstand his message… and yet, he loves by pouring out the Spirit upon us so that we might love and understand just a little bit better.  Let’s face it, the story we have been been brought into makes no sense. Why would God, the creator of all that is, give up his Godliness to become human, only to be betrayed and killed by those whom he loved? And even when that went bad, continue to pour out Godself in the Holy Spirit, so that good news might still be preached and worked in the world?  It makes no sense to us because we are not God. Our love, our sense of peace and justice is rather finite. God’s very being is love… it has no beginning and no end… and because God loves, you and I are...Because God loves, you and I are… God has loved us all into existence… You and me, and the people we love most, and the people we hate and fear most too… All of life has been loved into existence because God so loved the world… And because God so loved the world, we are to love the world as well…as our Presiding Bishop Michael Curry said last week, Love is the way… help us oh holy and blessed Trinity to live in the way…

    I want to leave you today with a poem full of wonderful images.  Last week, I sang to you, a song by Alana Levandoski. Today, I leave you with a piece of poetry that is spoken in her song, The Christ hymn.  The poem is written by Joel McKerrow… and as I kept listening to it, it brought to mind images of the Trinity…. Images of creation, Jesus, and the overflowing of the love of God in the Spirit….

And this is he who takes all that he is and bestows it  freely
Gives meekly, takes infinite power and bows the knee
Have you ever seen God on the ground?
Palms pressed to the floor
Sweat dripping on the dirt
The cut and stretch of being human
A sacred shelter of presence
The fullness of he, creator of kingdoms and galaxies
Of principalities and every moment crafted through time
The divine placed wholly in human flesh
The infinite squashed down into finite
Like fitting 10,000 angels on the top of a pin
Like the entire ocean is poured into a pool
Like the wine is running over
Like It is bursting at the seams
The Christ, he was bursting at the seams

Laying our life down

6 Easter Year B
May 6, 2018

    I was scrolling through facebook earlier this week on a morning that I was avoiding doing other things… some days, that’s what facebook is best for; work avoidance...anyway, I started reading a truly beautiful story about a family that was expecting their second child.  They went in for a routine ultrasound, right at around 19-20 weeks. It was an ultrasound where they would be finding out the gender of their baby and get to see it’s face and measure it for due date possibilities. It’s a very special day in the life of a family. On that day, however, the couple found out that their precious child had a birth defect where the child’s spine would had not and would not close at the top; when that happens, significant portions of the brain do not develop, and the child, if it lives until it’s born, will die soon after birth.  Of course, this family was devastated to hear this news...There is no hope for a family who receives this diagnosis for their child. The couple took a few days to decide what they wanted to do; there aren’t many options; one is to continue to carry the pregnancy, and the other is to end it. The parents then did something that I think is really amazing. They asked, if their baby, who was a daughter, would be eligible to be an organ donor if she were carried to term. The hospital had not had this situation before and it took a few days to figure it all out, but, indeed, their daughter, whom they named Eva, could indeed be an organ donor.   This family was living new policies for infant organ donation as Eva’s birth approached. Make no mistake; these parents did not have any false notions that their daughter would live if they carried her to term; they were well aware that if she lived even a few minutes, it would be a miracle… they wanted to try and bring something good and life giving out the death of their daughter. A week or so before she was due to be born, the worst possible thing happened; Eva died before her birth, which meant her organs could no longer be donated. Her parents were devastated again. Eva was born by induction, and her parents were able to hold her and say their goodbyes.  Then their doctor came in and said that the foundation that deals with organ donations said that Evan could still have her eyes donated. And so, her parents agreed. And so, while it wasn’t at all the scenario they imagined at all, there was still something beautiful and life giving that happened as a result of this family’s sacrifice… someone, perhaps even a child, would have the gift of sight and would see with Eva’s eyes.
    It is both a sad and beautiful story.  What struck me about the story, was that even in the midst of intense grief, these parents were able to think about the needs of others.  And, I daresay, that it was at great personal cost. First, carrying a baby that was terminal that could die before it was born, put the mother at physical risk.  And then, there was the 17 or so weeks of being pregnant with a child that had no possibility of living. How does a parent respond to all of the questions as mom starts to look pregnant?  How do you say, there isn’t going to be a baby nursery, or any of the incredibly happy things that most of associate with having a new baby?

    “Jesus said to his disciples, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.”
    One of the reasons I love John’s gospel, is because of all of the talk of love, and of relationship between the Father, Jesus and us.  These words are just as true for us today as they were for the original disciples. Jesus levels the field by calling his disciples friends; and because of the love Jesus has for us, we too are his friends.  As any of us know, the language Jesus uses if overflowing with meaning; friendship for Jesus is not something that is defined by casual relationship; rather is is defined by deep love that sacrifices one’s own comfort for another.  Jesus’ sacrifice for his friends was of course the ultimate laying down of life; it cost him everything, and his death brought life to his friends. I think when most of us read this passage from John’s gospel we, or maybe I, might pass it over a bit because surely, Jesus isn’t calling me to make that kind of sacrifice for another.  Well friends, it could happen. We might very well find ourselves in a position where we might be asked to die for another. But there are plenty of lesser, but incredibly important ways that we might lay our lives down for another; we might find ourselves in places where we might be asked to do things that are incredibly difficult and painful in order that a friend might be brought to wholeness.  And while friends whom we know and care about are incredibly important in our lives, when we realize that all of those who have been created by God are our friends in a kingdom kind of way, laying our lives down for another becomes even more difficult and perhaps even more necessary. The reason that the story about Eva and her parents was so beautiful to me was because these parents wanted to turn their tragedy into something life giving to people that they didn’t even know.  Knowing what would be facing them over those weeks, their sacrifice and their gift was a gift beyond price; and that’s what it means to lay our lives down for another. Sometimes I think we get a little bit too comfortable with being a Christian, but we have to remember that we are not called to a life of comfort; we are called to a life of service to everyone around us, but especially to those we don’t know, who live on or near the margins of society, even if their is personal cost to us; it is only in laying down our lives, that we might save our lives, and abide fully with Jesus.

    What kind of sacrifices is Jesus asking of us today?  Will we respond with our lives, and without fear?

The true vine

5 Easter Year B
April 29, 2018

    We have the gift of such incredibly rich readings today, which makes me wonder why I had such a hard time getting a sermon together.  Writer’s block on Friday night is not a good thing for a preacher… so, I closed my computer, and quit trying to force an idea… after a while, what I realized, is I was having a hard time because the readings, especially the gospel were forcing me to think about my own spiritual life.  As they say, I hate it when that happens.

    Now, most of you know, that I am not fond of gardening, or really, the great outdoors. Some of that at this point in my life is because I cannot be out in the sun for long periods of time, but I really don’t find digging in the dirt relaxing or fun.  My goal in life, really, is to live in a moderately high rise apartment in a city… maybe overlooking the water… somewhere warm… anyway, not a gardener by any stretch… but, there is something about the vine, the branches and the fruit that truly speaks to me...at least today…

    Jesus as the vine is a powerful image because it is Jesus who feeds us, the branches so that we might bear fruit in the kingdom. As I thought about this image, I thought about all of the ways in which Jesus feeds us; certainly there is the real feeding that goes on at the altar on Sundays; but most plants need to be fed more often than that; unless of course you’re a cactus; and maybe that’s why I like the desert, the plants don’t need much to keep them going…. But, back to being fed by Jesus… I know, at a deep level, that in order for this particular branch to bear any kind of fruit in the kingdom, that I must make sure that I am drinking from the well of spiritual nourishment that Jesus provides…

    Well, you remember that time before Easter, that season called Lent?  I don’t know if it was just me this year, but I never really got grounded during Lent; my discipline never really got off the ground, and I felt out of sorts the whole time.  Thanks be to God that somehow I found myself able to find the well by holy week, and could be truly present in prayer and worship so that Easter morning was the amazing miracle that it should be...but I know that I need to keep myself spiritually fed if I’m going to be anywhere close to the person Jesus has asked me to be.  Thankfully, the true vine keeps offering what we all need even when we are too stubborn to realize we are getting spiritually weak…

    For myself, when I get too busy or too lazy to attend to my spiritual life, it’s also really tough for me to abide in and with God; it’s easy to forget that my whole life depends upon that relationship, and that it guides my actions… loving others becomes a bit more tricky because I am not allowing God’s love to sustain me… old habits start to creep in, and suddenly there is fear and anger at things that are completely out of my control… as John reminds us, love casts out fear, and when I am grounded in the love that God has for me, there is no fear… I can more easily recognize the image of God in others, rather than recognizing my own fears and anger....

    Last week, we celebrated a baptism, signifying the bringing of, one of God’s beloved into the body of Christ.  We all renewed the covenant of baptism, and were sprinkled with holy water to remind ourselves of our life together in Christ, as those who have been marked as Christ’s own forever… we all promised to “continue in the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of the bread, and in the prayers”... continuing in the prayers is something that sustains us as well as sustains those around us; for myself, I know that I must pray, so that I can be the person Jesus has asked me to be, but also so that I can allow myself to feel the love that God has for me… it’s not a one way conversation, and when I go through the motions of doing the prayers of the church without allowing time for God to respond, it ceases to be prayer.  I can always tell when I am getting off track, when I start to think that prayer is becoming a chore… and, honestly, sometimes it is a chore… but as a spiritual director of mine once wisely told me, chores are those things that we must do to make our lives more liveable.

    So, I am working my way back to the well.  The true vine, Jesus our saviour is where my spiritual nourishment comes from… and fortunately for me, even when I start acting like I don’t need to be fed, I get fed anyway.   It’s kind of like the little kid that screams that it doesn’t need to sleep and desperately fights the need to sleep, when everyone in the room knows that baby needs a nap…
    The spiritual life is no different… if you’re like me, sometimes you fight it for a couple of days because there are more important things to do, and suddenly, a few days turns into lots of days.  Beloved, allowing ourselves to be fed by Jesus is the most important thing we do… we must find ways to make sure that happens, whether it’s time in quiet, time with the prayers of the church, time with music…. Whatever it is that helps each of us to connect not just to our own stuff, but to Jesus who loves us enough to always be willing to help us to bear fruit in our lives.

    There are all kinds of ways to pray and to allow ourselves to be open to the Love that is God… if, like me, you find your particular branch a little weak and withered, Tex, Beth or I, would be happy to help you find a way to be nourished.  The first step, is to recognize that it’s absolutely necessary for your life… and to realize that God wants nothing more than to be in relationship with you….how will each of us allow ourselves to be fed today?

Easter 2018

Easter Day 2018

    I have several memories of Easter’s from my past.  One of my favorites, was my dad saying I could have any chocolate bunny I wanted just as long as I gave him the ears to eat.  There were many Easters with many chocolate bunnies that had their ears taken by my dad. There was another Easter when my parents, in a move that was totally unlike them, put a Barbie doll that I had really wanted in my basket;  then there was the Easter when it snowed so much we didn’t leave the house; I remember huge snow drifts in the front yard, and pictures of me in my red Easter dress and bonnet taken inside. I hated that dress. When I was seven, I fell the day before Easter and ended up with 7 stitches in my forehead; let’s just say it was for science… there was a pinwheel, a dog and some roller skates involved... mom was not pleased… Later, when I had children of my own, I remember hiding and re-hiding eggs for my daughter to find… once she found them she wanted us to hid them again in silly places for her to find… I think we spend the better part of the day hiding the eggs that she found…

    All of these are memories that help me to think about the people and relationships from those times; if I close my eyes I can smell the chocolate and hear my dad tease me about bunny ears; and i love remembering the gleeful giggles of my daughter searching for eggs all day…

    Memories can be wonderful; we can for a time, reconnect with loved ones who are now gone; it’s one of the ways that we have of never forgetting our own story and where we have been…

    In today’s gospel reading, Mary is weeping at the tomb of Jesus… she and the disciples have been through hell on earth the last several days; certainly nothing that compares to what Jesus suffered.  He was tortured by the empire until he died; tortured as though he was a common criminal, when all he did was teach people about God and how to love one another. What about the kingdom he promised? What were they going to do now?   The memories of the last several days are still fresh and painful, so painful that they blind her ability to recognize Jesus when he comes walking through the garden. The tomb is empty… someone must have taken him as a further insult.  What she remembers of the last few days is also clouding her ability to remember the promises he made; he said he would die… and he promised that God would raise him from the dead… When the man she supposes is the gardner says her name… then her more distant memories return in a flood and she realizes that it is not the gardner… but that Jesus has been raised from the dead… just as he promised…  and isn’t it wonderful how the sound of a beloved voice can suddenly make everything ok again? And for Mary, this encounter with Jesus is like no other… for now she is living in the reality that death and suffering will never have the last word… for if he is risen… she and the others shall be as well…

Why do we gather each year to hear this story?  We gather to hear Mary’s story because her story is also our story... Jesus is her Lord and friend… and he is ours as well.  When we hear the story, we feel it as we do all the family stories that we share, because we are one family because of the life that Jesus lives.   But today, is so much more that merely the telling of a deep memory; when we tell these stories, we are in God’s time and place, and the memory becomes our present reality.  When we proclaim that the Lord is risen indeed, we aren’t speaking about a past event… Jesus is risen… today… in our present and in our reality. He is risen in all times and places… he has broken open the gates of heaven so that no one may be denied the gift of eternal life with God.  Today, this day, the truest light has come into the world so that darkness and death may never triumph… the kingdom of God has come to earth; God so loved the world, this world, today… that he gave his son, so that we would know just how much WE are loved by God… and because we are loved, we are to respond by loving the world that Jesus loves… we are to love it in the ways that he loved it… the kingdom of God is at hand when we heal, feed, visit, comfort… Jesus lives in us when we love even when there is risk; we love the world without fear because Jesus is alive and has changed everything.  He has been everywhere that we could ever be… and so no matter what the risk, no matter what the danger, we love because we are never alone; even in the shadow of death.

So on this day, I wish you joy.  May the resurrection of Jesus so embed itself in your memory and in your life that you can hear his voice say your name with love and joy.  May this Easter be blessed for all of us; may we go from this place confident in the love of God given to us in Jesus. May we always know that we are never alone, and that death never has the last word.  Alleluia, Christ is Risen. The Lord is Risen indeed, Alleluia!   

   

Sir, we want to see Jesus

5 Lent Year B
March 18, 2018

    I had a really neat thing happen earlier this week.  I was able to talk to my high school orchestra teacher.  I had gotten his email address from another former student, and I wanted to just drop a note to say hello, and to thank him for being a positive adult in my life.  My email said something like, you probably don’t remember me, but you may remember having dinner at my house the night of the spring concert… you were kind enough to drive me there and back…

    Well, when he responded, he said, he not only remembered me, but most definitely remembered dinner at my house, and said he would call later in the week so we could catch up.  It was a delightful conversation, and he remembered things I had forgotten until he said them… we spoke of people we knew and pieces of music that we played… it was great, and I did get to thank him for his place in that part of my life.  We also told each other a little of what our lives look like now, which I am sure we didn’t even imagine back then, at least I didn’t….

“Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus.”

Now, when the tell Jesus, I am sure they didn’t expect what happened… Jesus immediately launches into a description of what awaits for him and his followers as they get closer to Jerusalem… I would imagine the Greeks who wanted to see him, weren’t at all prepared for what happened… I don’t know what they expected, but the passage speaks to me of longing for something different, something that might help them to fill the emptiness that they are feeling… surely, they have heard the stories about him and the miracles he has performed; at this point in the gospel, they have likely heard about the raising of Lazarus and all of the controversy; maybe, all they really wanted was to see him for themselves after hearing the stories; maybe they wanted to ask him some questions… we don’t really know… but when they get there, not only do they see him, but they learn what’s in store for him and for those who follow him.  I have to say, it’s not the best public relations job I’ve ever seen, but Jesus gets points for brutal honesty…

Perhaps its a warning; come no further unless you want to spend your lives defending the death of a state criminal; but I think perhaps, it’s more than that; I think it’s an invitation to see a bigger, albeit difficult future and purpose not just for Jesus but for everyone.  Jesus is challenging what he knows is their rather limited view of what’s happening; sure, miracles and signs are great, but even they have their limits. Healing one person, or raising one person from the dead, is good for the one… But now Jesus’ eyes and mind are pointed towards Jerusalem and the events that wait for him there that have implications for the whole world, not just for a few lucky people.  And, if Jesus’ words aren’t enough, we join with those gathered to heard the words of the Father which promise that God WILL be glorified in the future that Jesus has outlined for himself. In John’s gospel in particular, the cross of Jesus becomes a seat of victory and glory… it’s a difficult message for us even now… I cannot imagine what it might have sounded like to those who first heard it.

Seeing beyond what we know is so difficult; I know when I was a kid back in high school, it seemed as though that was my whole world, both the good and the bad; I didn’t see much of a future, let alone the future that eventually became my reality; as I got older and experienced more, things became somewhat clearer, and there were others along the way who’s vision was perhaps a bit sharper than mine; that was one of the gifts of the conversation from earlier in the week; knowing that there were others in that time and place who could see beyond that time and place and at least imagine a future that was different…

I want to see Jesus… today, and every day… and I admit that I don’t always want to see and hear what he might have to say to me.  Jesus’ visions of the future are dangerous and frightening sometimes. For those of us who pray and read scripture and take his presence into ourselves… nothing is the same as it was before that time; imagine what the Greeks who wanted to see him felt like when they DID see him?  Nothing was the same as is was, and they couldn’t go back to the way it was, especially once the journey toward Jerusalem began. Much would be required of them as they walked with him. And, just in case we forget, there are things required of us too. It’s not the kind of requirement that pays Jesus back, but rather the requirement to love one who shows us love.  If we truly see Jesus, loving him isn’t far behind… and if we love him… there is no other response possible than to love him in all that we say and do… but first we have to see him… we have to see him in the poor in our streets; we have to see him in the dying; we have to see him in the women and children who are alone and fighting to live; we have to see him in the people we hate, as well as in the people we love; we must see him in the Eucharist given for all of us… we have to look past what WE think it means to see Jesus, we have to think past what we think following him means, and see what he has asked us to see and whom he has asked us to love… Are we ready to have God’s law written on our hearts?  Are we ready to accept the judgement of this world, as Jesus is lifted up to draw the world to himself?

May our hearts long to see Jesus… may we see him as he is, and not as we have made him.  May we long to love and be loved; may we long to to his will this day and always.

   

Ash Wednesday: a love feast

Ash Wednesday 2018

    For weeks now, my colleagues and I have been joking around on facebook about Ash Wednesday falling on Valentine’s Day this year.  There have been all sorts of odd Valentine’s with pictures of ash crosses, as well as pictures of Ashes in the shape of hearts.  I promise, that will not happen today.

    All of this got me thinking about what I wanted to say about Ash Wednesday this year, and I decided, that I wanted to speak of today as a feast of love… the kind of love that exists between the God of mercy and God’s people who are always in need of mercy.

    It is good for us to remember this day as we enter this holy season, to remember who we are.  We are mortal, sinful, frail people, who are always in need of God’s grace and love; it’s important for us to remember that because when we look around us, the world would have us believe that if we work hard and can pick ourselves up by our bootstraps, all will be well.  And, sometimes it is; but the difference between the world around us and God’s kingdom, is that our own efforts do not necessarily mean that things are well, or that we are somehow better than others; in God’s kingdom, our own efforts do not mean that God loves us more; in God’s kingdom, all are loved equally regardless of their position and status in society.  In God’s kingdom, we are all broken, we are all vulnerable, we are all sinful, and we are all in need of mercy.

    But here’s where I think the love comes in - As we acknowledge our sinfulness and our vulnerabilities, what we do today reminds us that God loves us and will continue to do so, no matter what we get ourselves into.  What we do today reminds us that God’s love, God’s mercy and God’s forgiveness are always offered to us, even when we think we don’t deserve them… because we don’t deserve them; God gives us these things because God loves us and because God can; you and I are created in God’s image, which is love, and mercy and forgiveness.  As difficult as it is to hear the words I will say to you tonight, ‘Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return”, what we do today reminds us that Jesus doesn’t leave us to be afraid or alone.  Returning to the dust, is returning to the earth that God has brought into creation in love; and we shall return to it… but, we know that our death is not the end of the story; Easter joy reaches back towards us, even today to proclaim that Jesus is Risen from the dead and that death can never have the last word… even today, as we contemplate our own mortality and the difficulties that we have, God’s love will be victorious… even today…  Today, we acknowledge our sinfulness and even our death, not to feel bad or to feel hopeless; rather, when we acknowledge who we are in the face of our God, we are filled with the hope and joy that only reconcilliation to God can bring… and it is brought to us through the life of Jesus.

    But we don’t just stand by idle, either, waiting for something to happen.  I think, before we can fast and pray during this holy season, we have to contemplate our own vulnerability because that’s where our relationship with God is at its strongest.   For myself, I will say that I love me some Jesus, and I am certain that my relationship with him is not only life giving, but life saving; but I have to tell you, that vulnerability is not my favorite thing; I have had to come to terms with my own mortality and frailty more often than I care to think of in the last while; having an autoimmune disorder that some days limits my abilities, and that could shorten my life, is not something I am fond of thinking about; but I do know this; that I never have to face those fears alone:  Jesus knows… Jesus has been vulnerable and afraid, and because he has, you and I do not need to fear, because fear and death do not have the last word; but rather, they can be powerful motivators for mission and ministry.  What kind of sacrifice is God asking you to engage in over these 40 Days?  Giving up our favorite food or beverage is a good thing; for myself, I am pretty sure that my family doesn’t need me to give up coffee; it’s just not a sacrifice that they need to make; but, maybe, Jesus is asking each us to go further; maybe, we are all asked to participate in a different kind of fast this year; a fast that takes place in the heart, that one cannot necessarily feel… our lesson from Isaiah says it well:  

Is not this the fast that I choose:

to loose the bonds of injustice,

to undo the thongs of the yoke,

to let the oppressed go free,

and to break every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,

and bring the homeless poor into your house;

when you see the naked, to cover them,

and not to hide yourself from your own kin?

Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,

and your healing shall spring up quickly;

your vindicator shall go before you,

the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.

Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;

you shall cry for help, and he will say, Here I am.

And that, beloved, is how we participate in this feast of Love on this Ash Wednesday/Valentine’s day mashup.  We fast in our hearts, by doing the holy work that God has given us all to do; When we hear others cry for help, we respond by helping; we share our food, our clothing and our resources so that none of God’s beloved shall go hungry; we cut out the busyness of our lives so that we might give time to real relationships with those God has put in our paths; and we love, we forgive, we show mercy, we become peacemakers… it is the best kind of fast, and perhaps the hardest, because we are called to notice and to act, so that perhaps others might be less vulnerable.

Today we are reminded that we are dust; but it is out of dust that God has created God’s most beloved of all.  We are reminded of our vulnerability and death; but we are also to remember that our most holy relationships are borne from our vulnerability, and today, as in all days, death shall not have the last word.  

I want to leave you with a prayer from a Franciscan Friar, Padre Pio, that speaks of the deep love that God has for each of us, and our never ending desire for that love:

“Stay with me, Lord, for it is necessary to have you present so that I do not forget you. You know how easily I abandon you. Stay with me, Lord, because I am weak, and I need your strength, so that I may not fall so often. Stay with me, Lord, for you are my life, and without you, I am without fervor. Stay with me, Lord, for you are my light, and without you, I am in darkness. Stay with me, Lord, to show me your will. Stay with me, Lord, so that I hear your voice and follow you. Stay with me, Lord, for I desire to love you very much, and always be in your company. Stay with me, Lord, if you wish me to be faithful to you. Stay with me, Lord, for as poor as my soul is, I want it to be a place of consolation for you, a nest of love. Amen.” ~ St. Pio of Pietrelcina